Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Lines for Sitcoms that will never get aired
"I like being Jewish. You get all the benefits of being white, plus the added street cred of killing God's only begotten son."
Monday, November 5, 2007
Aliens, Project Mogul, and Christmas Tape
I still believe in UFOs. By which I mean, I believe that we have been visited by extra terrestrial life forms. I remember being ridiculed for this belief many times, but my rationale for extra terrestrial life seemed good enough: if one of 9 (now 8) planets in this remarkably average solar system could create intelligent life, those odds, applied to the millions or billions of other star systems would surely result in a similar outcome. Likewise, I believed that a worldwide conspiracy of average joes who saw lights and aircraft unknown in the world was pretty unbelievable. Same for my belief in ghosts. However, I did draw the line that aliens were here to promote the works of Jesus or that they wanted to create human/ alien hybrid embryos (after all, what could they need our pathetic genes for? Dumb homo sapiens have already mapped their own genome and if they can travel past c, they could probably whip up any base pairs they want.)
But I still obsessively read a lot of UFO books, magazines, and sucked down paranormal .5 hour TV documentaries. I know what Project Bluebook is, what a close encounter of the 1st, second, and 4th kind are, who the first inter-racial couple to be abducted were, and how many fingers greys are supposed to have. So I was surprised to see on National Geographic channel a UFO documentary that actually taught me something new.
Of course, everyone who knows what's up knows what Roswell is. Basically: a UFO crashed, a rancher found pieces of debris, newspaper snaps pictures of pieces, alien corpses get sent to area 51, and weather balloon is set up as a cover story. But I finally learned how it could all be explained rationally.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:RoswellDailyRecordJuly8%2C1947.jpg
First of all, it always bothered me that a huge, advanced spaceship only left the debris of foil like metal and rubbery components. Secondly, there was no crater or scarring anywhere around the debris. Thirdly, there was never a good consensus with witnesses anywhere. But there were hieroglyphic writings on some of the debris, which didn't sound like something a weather balloon would have. Why not some serial numbers like all good military projects? An innocuous weather balloon would certainly have something like that somewhere.
As it turns out, the perfectly rational explanation is as follows: it was a secret balloon project. Project Mogul was a top secret program which sent weather balloons with advanced detecting equipment to spy on USSR nuclear activity. It was a rush job and since many balloons were needed it was put together by a toy manufacturer in New York. This manufacturer used tape with Christmas decorations on it. This dried on the wood in the Nevada sun to make the purple hieroglyphs. Other details and hype about the story came about 30 years later after 50's sci-fi made the UFO invaders a standard trope. Because the project was top secret, the government did put out a cover story later and tacitly encouraged the UFO story.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Force_Reports_on_Roswell_UFO_Incident
This came out in 1997, while I soaked up my alien lore a year or two earlier. A victory for Occam's razor, a strange retrospective for my childhood obsession. I could say something cheesy, like the alien fixation was just a reflection of a personal and global desire that we aren't alone, that there is more than just a space ship earth. But for a part of me, it's like learning Santa never existed.
That being said, who wants to fund my X-Prize bid?
In other news, while planting a tree in the backyard, I cut my right wrist slightly. It still hurts. Made me definitely consider a bullet to the head as planned suicide method. Have not taken medication in nearly three weeks. However, I finally tested my vacuum former.
But I still obsessively read a lot of UFO books, magazines, and sucked down paranormal .5 hour TV documentaries. I know what Project Bluebook is, what a close encounter of the 1st, second, and 4th kind are, who the first inter-racial couple to be abducted were, and how many fingers greys are supposed to have. So I was surprised to see on National Geographic channel a UFO documentary that actually taught me something new.
Of course, everyone who knows what's up knows what Roswell is. Basically: a UFO crashed, a rancher found pieces of debris, newspaper snaps pictures of pieces, alien corpses get sent to area 51, and weather balloon is set up as a cover story. But I finally learned how it could all be explained rationally.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:RoswellDailyRecordJuly8%2C1947.jpg
First of all, it always bothered me that a huge, advanced spaceship only left the debris of foil like metal and rubbery components. Secondly, there was no crater or scarring anywhere around the debris. Thirdly, there was never a good consensus with witnesses anywhere. But there were hieroglyphic writings on some of the debris, which didn't sound like something a weather balloon would have. Why not some serial numbers like all good military projects? An innocuous weather balloon would certainly have something like that somewhere.
As it turns out, the perfectly rational explanation is as follows: it was a secret balloon project. Project Mogul was a top secret program which sent weather balloons with advanced detecting equipment to spy on USSR nuclear activity. It was a rush job and since many balloons were needed it was put together by a toy manufacturer in New York. This manufacturer used tape with Christmas decorations on it. This dried on the wood in the Nevada sun to make the purple hieroglyphs. Other details and hype about the story came about 30 years later after 50's sci-fi made the UFO invaders a standard trope. Because the project was top secret, the government did put out a cover story later and tacitly encouraged the UFO story.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Force_Reports_on_Roswell_UFO_Incident
This came out in 1997, while I soaked up my alien lore a year or two earlier. A victory for Occam's razor, a strange retrospective for my childhood obsession. I could say something cheesy, like the alien fixation was just a reflection of a personal and global desire that we aren't alone, that there is more than just a space ship earth. But for a part of me, it's like learning Santa never existed.
That being said, who wants to fund my X-Prize bid?
In other news, while planting a tree in the backyard, I cut my right wrist slightly. It still hurts. Made me definitely consider a bullet to the head as planned suicide method. Have not taken medication in nearly three weeks. However, I finally tested my vacuum former.
Friday, November 2, 2007
And nobody heard me, not even the chair.
Sorry about not posting in a while. Not that anyone reads this. But I'm sorry nonetheless. I thought that I would actually keep a record of my life so far, but it's really hard to document all the nothing that goes on. I am surrounded by all my High school awards and such, and it makes me realize what a slacker I've become. I have less than a month until my LSAT and it just drains me. As much as I don't want to go to Law School, I REALLY don't want to go to a crappy law school. So, damned if I do, damned more if I don't. I realized that I hated who I was in high school, I just threw myself into my studies until I could escape to college. At college I did (mostly) what interested me, I didn't feel obligated to do anything, and I could comfortably mock those who clamored for useless student group leadership. I know grad school won't make up for my undergrad experience, and I don't even know what I'd study if I went to engineering grad school. The GRE is my next task after the LSAT. Maybe I could just hole up in some school in the west and study superconducting metals. And then I'll get a girlfriend. And a pony. And a leprechaun. Who already has life insurance.
I was so drained from my Saturday LSAT test that I went to sleep at 2 PM and missed a fetish ball, which would have been the only semi-exciting thing to do in florida other than Fatasy Fest in the Keys. Then, I had another class on Halloween itself that ran from 6-9:30. Exactly one trick or treater came by and my mother didn't know I put the candy in the fridge. So he didn't get anything. I was boring this halloween. I hate this place.
The only other thing that happened is that they opened an IKEA near Sawgrass mills. This is a BIG thing. I have seen Disney World exhibits less crowded. But instead, families are just milling about, noting how cheap and chic Swedish designed plywood is. It was so packed
I occasionally had trouble breathing. But it did make me start thinking about designing my apartment. And then I started to think about how I would move to the apartment, would I sleep on the floor when waiting for the furniture to come in, what is a lease agreement, are there any paints that don't have added chemicals. I don't need the Sims, I do this in my head well enough.
Have not been taking my medication lately. Largely because between the $1,200 kaplan prep class and the $200 iPod I bought my mom for her birthday, I am very low on cash and my new insurance doesn't cover medication. Thinking about donating some bodily fluid or another. Also, read recently that as illegal drugs in the 80's subsided, prescription drugs with the same effect grew phenomenally and had the same effect. THe happiest I've ever been as an adult was when I was on anti-depressants.
Thinking a lot about God too. No particular reason.
Goodnight. I have to do logic games tomorrow.
I was so drained from my Saturday LSAT test that I went to sleep at 2 PM and missed a fetish ball, which would have been the only semi-exciting thing to do in florida other than Fatasy Fest in the Keys. Then, I had another class on Halloween itself that ran from 6-9:30. Exactly one trick or treater came by and my mother didn't know I put the candy in the fridge. So he didn't get anything. I was boring this halloween. I hate this place.
The only other thing that happened is that they opened an IKEA near Sawgrass mills. This is a BIG thing. I have seen Disney World exhibits less crowded. But instead, families are just milling about, noting how cheap and chic Swedish designed plywood is. It was so packed
I occasionally had trouble breathing. But it did make me start thinking about designing my apartment. And then I started to think about how I would move to the apartment, would I sleep on the floor when waiting for the furniture to come in, what is a lease agreement, are there any paints that don't have added chemicals. I don't need the Sims, I do this in my head well enough.
Have not been taking my medication lately. Largely because between the $1,200 kaplan prep class and the $200 iPod I bought my mom for her birthday, I am very low on cash and my new insurance doesn't cover medication. Thinking about donating some bodily fluid or another. Also, read recently that as illegal drugs in the 80's subsided, prescription drugs with the same effect grew phenomenally and had the same effect. THe happiest I've ever been as an adult was when I was on anti-depressants.
Thinking a lot about God too. No particular reason.
Goodnight. I have to do logic games tomorrow.
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